by Karon Thackston © 2006
http://www.copywritingcourse.com
In Part 1 of this series (http://www.marketingwords.com/articles/copywriting_makeover_providerwatch.html), you were introduced to Provider Watch, a company whose site copy was a bit confusing. (You can see the original copy here: http://www.copywritingcourse.com/providerwatch-original.pdf.) While they had a wonderful understanding of their target audience and they had absolutely made an emotional connection, the copy lacked a push toward action on the visitor's part. It also needed a boost in the search engine rankings. After outlining the problems, I set about rewriting the home page.
The Rewrite
The original headline read:
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